Three unavoidable backpacker questions are burned into the minds of Byron Bay locals:
“Free internet?”
“Where can I buy weed?”
“Where is Cheeky Monkey’s?”
This final question, combined with the infamous Thursday night Wet T Shirt comp, means most locals turn their nose up at Cheeky Monkey’s. They are missing out on a world of debauchery. I found a strong reminder of my backpacking goodtimes without the round-the-world ticket investment. The night was simply unpretentious fun.
Competitions run by the DJ offer prizes ranging from jugs of beer to scuba diving. Tuesday is Coyote Ugly dance comp night. Eight punters compete in a 45 second tabletop dance for a $100 bar tab. The winner is decided by the loudest audience cheer. There is a heat for guys, then girls, and a mixed final. Gyrating to Britney in my jeans and headscarf, I was no competition for a tall blonde who flung off her minidress and a curvy brunette who removed her top. My dignity and I took some satisfaction when they lost the final to a shirtless guy with louder mates.
One warning for the spin the wheel game – be careful who your mates are! A Dubbo Schoolie spun 10 minutes in the sin bin. He had to stand facing the wall as though he was being arrested - and not move. It was too tempting for one girl who walked up and gave his butt a good squeeze. In no time, he was dacked, smeared in tomato sauce, kindly un-dacked and pelted with ice cubes. The DJ let him go before 10 minutes were up. He retaliated by bombarding the audience with ice cubes they had pushed into his underwear. The prize? Surfing lessons from Byron Bay Surf School.
The ice-breaking competitions are over by 9ish. I have no salacious stories for the following six hours. The tabletops are slip proof and dancing on them is a major part of the attraction. Til 3am, the DJ moves through commercial anthems from the eighties til now – pop, rock, rnb, hip hop, house, disco, techno. Booth seating means you can chat away from the writhing masses on the ‘dancefloor’. There is also a pool table and video game to hang around. TV screens show music videos interspersed with messages like ‘World Peace: Make it happen!” At closing, Jack Johnson is played to calm the party-goers before releasing them into the street.
As for dining, $2 got me a Thai-style vegetarian curry and a free beer. The meal was more rice than curry, but it had a good flavour and filled my belly. Two friends shared a huge chicken parmigiana (crumbed chicken fillets in a cheesy bolognaise sauce, with chips and salad – only $5). Byron-style pricing applied to other meals. The kitchen closes late, we ordered chips at stupid o’clock. I can’t be more time-specific, I did have a few beers - jugs of Tooheys New were $8. Cheeky Monkey’s adhere to drinking laws and no amount of pleading or bribery would get me tequila shots. Undoubtedly my liver is thanking me now and the internet shall remain free from one more photo of a topless drunk chick.
Words Kate Newton Image Serenity deAngeles
Cheeky Monkey's
115 Jonson St
Byron Bay, NSW 2481, Australia
+61 2 6...
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It's not a main feature, but be warned: The BlackTop Circus cabaret contains adult themes. There are four kids at the table beside me with their fingers in their ears. Comedian Joel Salom is repeatedly popping the 'f' word, no easy task when he has a ping pong ball tucked into each cheek*. I am laughing so hard I can't move my face.
The Halloween date inspired the show title, Nightmare on Marvell St, and some of the masked performers scare my skin into goosebumps. The BlackTop Circus is an emerging performance troupe consisting of circus arts, burlesque, live music and comedy. Any show touted as containing humour elicits a wary response from me, I have low expectations and am happily surprised. For a $10 ticket at the Byron Bay Bowling Club the comedy quality is outstanding. Taka and Baka, a faux-Japanese duo, humiliate a terrified audience victim with their knife throwing antics. They gaffa tape him to a target, place a bucket between his legs, ask him if he is a father yet, and blindfold him. The poor guy is shaking his head, trembling all over. This is comedy that pushes boundaries - you know you're not supposed to laugh at people who are really very scared. But, without giving too much away, you also know the guy is perfectly safe.
The audience is enthralled by Miss Red's inspirational performance with hula hoops. The silver hoops reflect the low lighting, creating halos and glimmers around her. Somehow she manages to dance with four hoops and move them in different directions in time with the music. She makes it look easy. Another highlight is Osibron's hypnotic didgeridoo playing, which gradually fills the room in a solid soundwave.
BlackTop Circus Technician Timothy Bromwich tells me the previous performance featured Sue Hird as Suzanna Bladerunner regurgitating razor blades. I daren't imagine what outlandish deeds their next performance will contain.
*Just to clarify, yes, I am referring to his mouth.
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